Well as always whenever we get together with partners it is a great time. We definitely become like family in many ways, even sibling rivalries. But coming together is different than just meeting on zoom weekly or monthly. It is a different dynamic.
Take this picture for example. This top picture was taken after having a group pic with some of the guys on the team. Notice my hair was messed up. Yes the guys helped with that too, but rather than telling me it was sticking up, they just let it ride. It wasn’t until later when one of the ladies was taking a pic and politely asked me to check the pic, so she didn’t have to say she thought my hair was messed up. It worked, I immediately saw it and fixed it, then of course got on the guys for not telling me and in fact creating it. Of course their response was like we know anything about hairstyles, many are either bald, extremely short hair or wear a cap most of the time.
I just reminded them that good friends help each other, that means not letting them look bad if they can prevent it. Like the gal who pointed it out. I mean really if I was taking a pic with the team and one of the guys fly was down, wouldn’t you want someone to point it out before it was plastered all over the internet?
Yet too many times society has cowtowed and used the excuse that I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, or embarrass them. But aren’t you embarrassing them more by not telling them, when you could have? It clearly shows that you don’t care for others like you think you do. We think we are kind and caring, but how often do we make ourselves feel uncomfortable to help someone else?
Truth and honesty is much easier to deal with and shows more love and concern than lies and half truths. Men, that doesn’t mean you should say the dress makes her look fat, but you could suggest a different one that looks better or state that it is not as flattering as it could be. We can handle it. Most people want to look nice, smell nice and feel good so when our friends or family are honest with us about it, we can help them to do that.
Just like sometimes saying hard truths. My contractors never like to hear they did a crappy job, but they still need to hear it. Do I need to pick my words wisely, absolutely, otherwise their ego is immediately inflamed and they can’t hear anything. Sometimes I am good at this and sometimes I am terrible at this, but I am always striving to get better.
The last thing society needs is more fakeness and false expectations. We need more truth, honesty, and real concern for one another if we are going to make a difference. That also means hearing things we don’t necessarily want to, but need to.
Will the guys still mess with me at the next meeting, sure, we are family, but hopefully they will pay attention a little better next time. Relationships are built over time and occurrence, the more you have, the stronger they become. So let’s all work to have stronger relationships both in work and personally.
Until the next adventure…